Thursday, August 07, 2008

Jedi Mind Trick (redux) 2

Stormtrooper: Let me see your identification.
Obi-Wan: [with a small wave of his hand] You don't need to see his identification.
Stormtrooper: We don't need to see his identification.
Obi-Wan: These aren't the toys you're looking for.
Stormtrooper: These aren't the what we're looking for?
Obi-Wan: These aren't the Droids you're looking for.
Stormtrooper: You said 'Toys'
Obi-Wan: I said Droids.
Stormtrooper: 'Toys' dude
Obi-Wan: I can assure you I said Droids.
Stormtrooper waits a moment then: Hey, you British?
Obi-Wan: [with a angry wave of his hand] Move along!
Stormtrooper: Move along... move along.
Obi-Wan and Luke move off
Stormtrooper to 2nd trooper: Did he sound British to you?

Jedi Mind Trick (redux)

Stormtrooper: Let me see your identification.
Obi-Wan: [with a small wave of his hand] You don't need to see his identification.
Stormtrooper: We don't need to see his identification.
Obi-Wan: These aren't the droids you're looking for.
Stormtrooper: These aren't the droids we're looking for.
Obi-Wan: He can go about his business.
Stormtrooper: You can go about your business.
Obi-Wan: Move along.
Stormtrooper: Move along... move along.
Obi-Wan and Luke move off
Stormtrooper to 2nd trooper: What the fuck happened then?

I want, I'd settle for, I got...

I want the Alien Queen
I'd settle for the creature from 'The Thing'
I'd get 'Alf'

Now there's an alien you want to smack in the mouth.

http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=19172213019

Wednesday, August 06, 2008

Devon Video

2 minutes of lovely Devon courtesy of Wide Eye Communications www.wideeyecom.com

Monday, August 04, 2008

THE URBAN JEDI



It's very satisfying to hummmm gently with a slight pulsating cadence. Thereby creating a soft 'light sabre' effect that you can enjoy in the office, on the train or bus or (if you're feeling mischievous) during important meetings.

I highly recommend it as it not only sooths the soul, it summons The Force, confuses radar, mystifies friends and colleagues and, best of all, provides a subtle internal massage.

My time here is not wasted.

Deeply Moving Story

A friend sent me this moving and heart warming story the other day.....


In 1986, Dan Harrison ( left ) was on holiday inKenya after graduating from Northwestern University

On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed, so Dan approached it very carefully.

He got down on one knee and inspected the elephant's foot and found a large piece of wood deeply embedded in it.

As carefully and as gently as he could, Dan worked the wood out with his hunting knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot.

The elephant turned to face the man, and with a rather curious look on its face, stared at him for several tense moments.

Dan stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled. Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned, and walked away.

Dan never forgot that elephant or the events of that day.

Twenty years later, Dan was walking through the Chicago Zoo with his teenaged son.

As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to near where Dan and his son Dan Jr. were standing..

The large bull elephant stared at Dan, lifted its front foot off the ground, and then put it down. The elephant did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man.

Remembering the encounter in 1986, Dan couldn't help wondering if this was the same elephant.

Dan summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing and made his way into the enclosure.
He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder.
The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of Dan's legs and slammed him against the railing, killing him instantly.
.
.
Probably wasn't the same elephant.

Sunday, August 03, 2008

Great quotes to ponder

Courtesy of Becca Tame's delightful Facebook page:

"If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you" Oscar Wilde.

"Lemons are the poor mans orange" Ian Bennett

"Touch your inner child at Womb World" Ian Bennett

"Crunchy Nut Cornflakes are just Frosties for wankers" Peep Show

"Maybe I am a big lesbo!!Think not tho cos I love willies!!" Tamsin Pengelly

"I can only take Dick for 45 minutes" Vic Raine

"You never know, cucumbers might have feelings too" Pip Clarke

"You're an aquired taste. Not for general consumption" Ben Tame

"Your default setting is evil" Sue Tame

"Peas. Sent from Jesus to please us" Meryl Reeves

Saturday, August 02, 2008

Family Guy


I'm having strange feelings about Lois Griffin.

But then again I've been having those feelings about Trisha Takenawa for some time.

Do you think there may be a term for 'inappropriate feelings for cartoon characters'?
I'm hoping to hear some suggestions.

Will be back with some thoughts shortly :))))) Yabadabadoooooo!

Thursday, July 10, 2008

I want, I'd settle for, I got.....

I remember in the mists of time a chaotic party in my youth when we would play a game called "I want, I'd settle for, I got.'

The form was to say:
I want: .......
I'd settle for....
I got.....
The idea was to take it in turns to add a line, in the correct order, hopefully making each statement funnier than the last and hopefully embarrassing to all concerned.

Doesn't sound like much I'd agree. But when you're young and very drunk, it kinda works.

In celebration of this little game and because it still makes me laugh I decided to set up a facebook group to encourage these 'Haiku' like gems from friends, family and hopefully others who may stumble upon it.
http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=19172213019

If you get a chance - pop over and take a look and contribute some thoughts.

One choice contribution already for example:

I wanted, a horse
I'd a settled for, a Mule
I got, an ass - and a big one at that.

The Far Side 2

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Zen Buggerham

The village of Buggerham is becoming rather 'Zen' of late.
Only this morning I was woken by the sound of a Japanese bamboo flute (or Shakuhachi) drifting across the thatched roofs. And the day before yesterday old Mrs Trim and her ladies held a Tea ceremony in Primrose Tea Rooms.
It appears that the village is turning to esoteric forms of enlightenment, encouraged, I can only surmise, by the Reverend Wiltshire's conversion to Jedi.

Monday, May 21, 2007

The local Convent's Charity Fun Day!



Marvellous!! - we raised £25 for the Pets In Need home during last Sunday's Fun Day event. Many thanks to Mrs Emily Hunterstone who was such a 'sport'! (as always)

Rubber Ducky

Quite simply one the best Bert&Ernie moments ever. Although featuring Ernie for 99% of the piece, Bert still manages to steal the show with his expression outside the door near the end.

Monday, April 23, 2007

Blatant advertising

Yes it's true : I have a new website for my paltry business ventures.

If you are casting about for someway of passing a dreary five minutes (make that 2), then why not skip across to:
http://www.nikchinook.com
and push up my profile. Actually, I can think of many reasons why not to.

And as for pushing up my profile - Crikey, what would the vicar say?

Moist but willing

wet wet wet

Buggerham village has been somewhat awash this week. It began with torrential rain and ended with my washing machine 'letting go' big style.
On the upside Mrs Peach let me take her roughly on the upstairs landing and was suitably moist too.

This was a surprise treat but the rough texture of the seagrass natural flooring has left an unattractive griddle-like pattern across my knees.

I haven't yet seen what it might have left upon cecily's deriere.
This though an alarming 'washboard' sound whenever she pulls her jeans on.

fusty Chinook

It seems that the smug 'to-clever-for-his-own-boots' Bohemian artist Mr Moon is making our quiet little village the setting for his book: Potters Fields, as featured in the NanoWrim.org competition.

Mr Hardy, Florence Clampit and Hetty Knob are going to see the vicar about it.

They have asked for my support, but i told them it was in a cupboard somewhere and probably rather fusty by now.

I fear I've been ostracised

New Neighbour

Excitement in Buggerham this week as A&C from next door have moved and a new lady has arrived. The word on the street is 'older lady, single (divorced, seperated or recently bereaved?) and has a lady cat.

Hmmm - our fiesty Tom cat 'Scabies' will have something to say about that!

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Great Product Ideas

Home DIY Lipo-suction kit. 'Take that weight of your mind while the Blubber-Sucker4000 takes the fat out of your thighs!'

Home DIY Retina laser surgery kit. 'Fun for all the family! (may contain potentialy occular damaging processes and materials.)'

Novelty Colostomy bags (would have goldfish or novelties in etc - bit like snodomes). 'Don't let disability stop you making a splash this Christmas!'

Cat Juggling for beginners, kit. 'Labaratory-bred cat-substitutes in every box'

World's first Home mini Nuclear power plant (pay-off line: and you get a FREE TAN!)

Lifestyle themed Tazer-guns. for example: 'The new Lady-Tazer lite! Small enough to slip in your purse - powerful enough to floor any burly attacker! Now in soft pink or Laura Ashley finish.'

The Nipple-Budy. An end to jogger's nipple with the easy to use all natural, clamp-on, chemically impregnated Nipple-relaxant system.

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Animation excess

Finally, the first post of the New Year.
Those of you who know me will be aware of why I've been busy - but for those of you who don't:
The past couple of months have been dominated by my working on an animation for the C4D Cafe competition : "WARP10"
C4D is a 3D illustration software package that creates stills or animations. You can see an example below on the 'Computer Bug' post.
The competition was to create a short film on the theme of 'Speed'
I've made a 2minute piece called 'The Far Side' about a Fly called Gary who wants to get to the far side of the road to feast on a dumped chinese take-away meal on the pavement. Unfortunately, between him and the bag is a road being burned up by boy-racer Chavs.

Anyway, if you wanna see it, swing by:
http://www.c4dcafe.com/ipb/index.php?showtopic=17601
and look for Chinook.

It's been a steep learning curve. Two months ago my C4D skills just about ran to making a basic spinning logo. I'd made a model of an simple exhibition stand for a client, which in retrospect was basic to say the least. And my animation skills had run to making the camera track round from left to right over three seconds. :(

Now - looking at what I've got done for my entry I can hardly believe I've come on so far. Really proud of my little hero Gary.