Dave speaks for all of us when he meets his local banker.
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Saturday, December 12, 2009
Friday, December 11, 2009
Sunday, December 06, 2009
Thursday, December 03, 2009
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Exeter Express and Echo
Once again, local news organ of excess and error has come up with a cracking example of journalistic style, brevity and borderline insanity.
The newspaper 'A-Board' is a regular object of hilarity across the country and possibly the world, but today I saw the Express and Echo come up with a world beater.
Yes, this could be England's Gold Medal hope for the category.
This is just the sort of thing for which the expression "What the fuck?" was invented.
The newspaper 'A-Board' is a regular object of hilarity across the country and possibly the world, but today I saw the Express and Echo come up with a world beater.
Yes, this could be England's Gold Medal hope for the category.
This is just the sort of thing for which the expression "What the fuck?" was invented.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Cardboard Roll Gods
These little 'Easter Island' type gods are made out of old cardboard rolls. Funny what you do when you got so many really important things to do you can't sleep.
Basically they're just old toilet-paper cardboard tubes that I scrunched up by hand (sometimes adding a bit of water to soften them). Sometimes I snipped a bit with nail scissors to help get particular folds or features. When I got the shape roughly right I put an elastic band around them laterally(from top to bottom) to help hold them in shape while I painted them with acrylics to try and get a weather-beaten stone effect.
I've also got some pictures I've taken in a more natural/woodland setting, which I'll upload at some point.
In fact, here they are:
Crazy looking bunch I reckon :)
If you want to see how how a real master does it, look HERE
Tuesday, July 07, 2009
Disco Parties (for the over 40s)
Overheard at 70s style disco party (suburban front room, 3am, Roxy Music at million decibells):
"Oooo steve - my boobs come down to your tummy!"
!
Monday, June 22, 2009
Machine-gunning penguins
I have an urge to start a blog called 'Machine-Gunning Penguins'
Not sure why. Not sure what it would contain. Not sure where the idea came from.
Not sure if I need medication of some kind.
I just know that for the past two weeks, the phrase 'Machine-gunning Penguins' has been following me about like a bad but compelling smell.
I wonder if the 'GOOD' but witty angel that sits on my shoulder is having a laugh by whispering this concept into my ear continuously. Coincidently, on my other shoulder stands the NAUGHTY but basically deprived childhood devil (Barry) wearing, would you believe it, a penguin suit.
My how we all laughed.
Not sure why. Not sure what it would contain. Not sure where the idea came from.
Not sure if I need medication of some kind.
I just know that for the past two weeks, the phrase 'Machine-gunning Penguins' has been following me about like a bad but compelling smell.
I wonder if the 'GOOD' but witty angel that sits on my shoulder is having a laugh by whispering this concept into my ear continuously. Coincidently, on my other shoulder stands the NAUGHTY but basically deprived childhood devil (Barry) wearing, would you believe it, a penguin suit.
My how we all laughed.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Medication
Once (when I was enjoying the dizzy heights of being a hire 'em and fire 'em manager, I received a job app from someone who wrote on the form: "I've been on medication but I think I'm alright now."
"think" ?
Monday, June 08, 2009
Violent Cows
I just saw this headline on the BBC news website: MP Blunkett injured in cow attack
Great stuff eh? A good enough story as is, needing no further information. And yet I can't help wondering....
Were they politically motivated?
Was it a sexual thing?
Had there been some previous unpleasantness?
Was it a street gang of cows/ Maybe on the way back from a 'hen night' in Liverpool?
Or was the whole thing just a dreadful misunderstanding?
After the dust settled and the cows stood in a quiet circle around the prostrate and twitching form of MP DB was there a moment of horrible realisation?
COW 1 : Uh oh.
COW 2 : What?
COW 1 : I know this is gonna sound crazy but I think that's MP David Blunkett.
COW 2 : Oh fuck. We're in big trouble
COW 1 : What do you mean 'we'?
Just a thought.
Wednesday, June 03, 2009
Great ad
Sniggering like a naughty schoolboy - that's me.
Pretty much the best commercial ever! - watch more funny videos
Singing the Blues (in Devon)
Welcome to the deep south y'all. Deep South Hams that is.
I've decided I'm going to turn in to a shambling old, weatherbeaten blues singer. But a Devon version. I could be Muddy Brookes or maybe 'Howling Tor' Nik. Tractor Joe Tivvy?, Sonny-boy Saltash ? Blind Jimmy CreamTea?
Trago Joe McColl? Napoli Pete (the wrecker's conscience) ?
"Who could forget classic numbers such as:
Stuck behind another fucking tractor Blues
Crossroads and crockles
My woman done stole my VW Camper
I scream and Ice Lollies Blues
Proper job, Fash n' Chips in Union Street
My Pappy done sold our home to a sloane (then we all done bitch about second home owners for the rest of us lives) blues.
Friday, May 29, 2009
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Cats having fun while you're out
I have long suspected that when we go out, the cat gets all his mates over and they watch videos and eat pizza. I think that if we creep back quietly 10 mins after going out we could catch them going through the fridge and arguing over 'The madness of King George' or 'Terminator 3'.
This feels like a Gary Larson sort of moment. I can just see the middle aged couple at the now open front door, (she in flowery frock, he in pebble glasses) looking at the frozen tableau before them. Ginger at the fridge pulling out beers, Whiskers lighting up a cigar. LuLu and Tiddles sprawled out on the sofa with the remote control, bottle of wine and packet of nachos.
Bowser, (the terrier) bound with electrical wire to a chair in the corner with gaffer tape wrapped about his snout.
Possible captions:
“In the few seconds of tense silence the followed Ethel and Frank’s early arrival back from the shops, all parties quietly considered their options.’
“As all parties internally considered their options following Ethel and Frank’s early arrival back from the shops, Ginger sadly realised that he had left the rifle in the back of the truck.’
This feels like a Gary Larson sort of moment. I can just see the middle aged couple at the now open front door, (she in flowery frock, he in pebble glasses) looking at the frozen tableau before them. Ginger at the fridge pulling out beers, Whiskers lighting up a cigar. LuLu and Tiddles sprawled out on the sofa with the remote control, bottle of wine and packet of nachos.
Bowser, (the terrier) bound with electrical wire to a chair in the corner with gaffer tape wrapped about his snout.
Possible captions:
“In the few seconds of tense silence the followed Ethel and Frank’s early arrival back from the shops, all parties quietly considered their options.’
“As all parties internally considered their options following Ethel and Frank’s early arrival back from the shops, Ginger sadly realised that he had left the rifle in the back of the truck.’
Monday, May 18, 2009
MPs Expenses SHOCK!
Hot news just in is that our heroes and betters in Parliament are voting on the following bonus/allowance/benefits for MPs
1. Tea and coffee for their offices, constituency office, home, second home, flat in Belize and mummy and daddy's farm in Dorset.
2. A swimming pool filled with asses milk and honey.
3. Cuddly Toy.
4. 500 sets of bed sheets.
5. A brace 'o Whippets and 52 barrels of heavy. (for Northern constituencies)
6. Tickets to Mamma Mia and a set of 'days-of-the-week' butt plugs, (for London and Brighton MPs. Nice
7. A new tractor each (for all other constituencies)
8. Wide screen tv, playstation3 and an iphone with a screensaver of Gordon/David/Nick/Katie. Delete as appropriate.
9. A shrubbery. ( yes - 2 level effect, path etc)
10. A short-cut button that when pressed will produce a calm and authoritative statement saying 'I was working strictly within the guidelines'. Even if you have just been caught on film machine gunning penguins, beating up little girls, stealing the crown jewels and butt fucking sheep on Salisbury Plain.
1. Tea and coffee for their offices, constituency office, home, second home, flat in Belize and mummy and daddy's farm in Dorset.
2. A swimming pool filled with asses milk and honey.
3. Cuddly Toy.
4. 500 sets of bed sheets.
5. A brace 'o Whippets and 52 barrels of heavy. (for Northern constituencies)
6. Tickets to Mamma Mia and a set of 'days-of-the-week' butt plugs, (for London and Brighton MPs. Nice
7. A new tractor each (for all other constituencies)
8. Wide screen tv, playstation3 and an iphone with a screensaver of Gordon/David/Nick/Katie. Delete as appropriate.
9. A shrubbery. ( yes - 2 level effect, path etc)
10. A short-cut button that when pressed will produce a calm and authoritative statement saying 'I was working strictly within the guidelines'. Even if you have just been caught on film machine gunning penguins, beating up little girls, stealing the crown jewels and butt fucking sheep on Salisbury Plain.
Thursday, May 14, 2009
A Blonde in the British Library
My good buddy CrazyHorse (think blonde-max / Phoebe from Friends, only stranger) assailed me with this anecdote today.
She was scouring bookshelves in the British Library yesterday when random blerk next to her (possibly trying to engage in pick up conversation scenario) opened with "You can never find what your looking for can you?"
Ever ready with a smartarse quip Crazyhorse replied, 'No - I've been looking for a matching bag and shoes in here for two hours".
Apparently random blerk just didn't get humour and looked genuinely scared.
Crazyhorse= WIN Random Blerk=FAIL
She was scouring bookshelves in the British Library yesterday when random blerk next to her (possibly trying to engage in pick up conversation scenario) opened with "You can never find what your looking for can you?"
Ever ready with a smartarse quip Crazyhorse replied, 'No - I've been looking for a matching bag and shoes in here for two hours".
Apparently random blerk just didn't get humour and looked genuinely scared.
Crazyhorse= WIN Random Blerk=FAIL
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Ancient Games and Rites
Extreme sports, ancient dances and rites that have, sadly, fallen from favour
Straddling the Runt
Punching the widow
Machine gunning Meerkats (Cute little bastards)
Taunting the Leper
Existentialism for Chavs
Interfering with Honey Badgers (actually not a metaphor)
Startling the incontinent
Stripping the virgin (Still popular under the Taliban)
Spanking Mugabe (still popular with big Bob apparently)
Getting a footballer to say a sentence without 'you know' in it.
Or my personal favourite:
Asking your local vicar 'why the Church of England doesn't sell its vast properties and lands to save starving children?', which baby Jesus, after all, would have undoubtably wanted.
My how they laugh, 'That would be an Ecumenical matter'.
Straddling the Runt
Punching the widow
Machine gunning Meerkats (Cute little bastards)
Taunting the Leper
Existentialism for Chavs
Interfering with Honey Badgers (actually not a metaphor)
Startling the incontinent
Stripping the virgin (Still popular under the Taliban)
Spanking Mugabe (still popular with big Bob apparently)
Getting a footballer to say a sentence without 'you know' in it.
Or my personal favourite:
Asking your local vicar 'why the Church of England doesn't sell its vast properties and lands to save starving children?', which baby Jesus, after all, would have undoubtably wanted.
My how they laugh, 'That would be an Ecumenical matter'.
Monday, May 11, 2009
A passion for .... advertising cliches
I tell you what's really pissing me off just lately ; The phrase 'a passion for'.
Fuck me, if I hear it used in some lame half-arsed marketing geek's 'right-on' slogan* one more time I think I'll scream up my lungs. "arghhhhhhhh-slop".
Using the word 'passion' about one's business or product was a bit wanky in the first place, ie circa 1994 but now, more than a decade on, it's wankymax, pretentious, irritating and, in most cases, largely inappropriate.
The dumb fucking use of 'a passion for' seems to have invaded every possible product and service, with hardly a newspaper ad, tv ad, junk (sorry direct) mail abortion or corporate re-branding being complete without it's slimy insincere tones.
"A passion for excellence" or "A passion for serving you/your business" are smug examples which then pale in comparison to the endless spewing torrent of 'a passion for food/chocolate/travel/delivery/logistics etc. Delete as appropriate.
I've even seen "A Passion for people-driven websites" (rolls off the tongue like a hairy toffee) and also "Passionate about Plastic"! Oh please.
Then you can find it being stretched (dilated to eye-watering proportions more like) beyond the bounds of common sense to accommodate any business need.
Smith &Co medical supplies - A passion for Hygenic Aids.
Keeper, Reciept and Partners - Your tax avoidance strategy is our passion
Kington, Scalpel & Kutts - Passionate about vivisection.
Marie Stopes - Passionate about great Cervix
JezzzTFchrist
Where will it end?
AlQueda.com - Passionate about Semtex
Anne Summers - A passion for passion
The Priesthood - Passionate about kids
*Of course it's not 'slogan' any more - it's probably something like 'brand mission micro-ident'.
Fuck me, if I hear it used in some lame half-arsed marketing geek's 'right-on' slogan* one more time I think I'll scream up my lungs. "arghhhhhhhh-slop".
Using the word 'passion' about one's business or product was a bit wanky in the first place, ie circa 1994 but now, more than a decade on, it's wankymax, pretentious, irritating and, in most cases, largely inappropriate.
The dumb fucking use of 'a passion for' seems to have invaded every possible product and service, with hardly a newspaper ad, tv ad, junk (sorry direct) mail abortion or corporate re-branding being complete without it's slimy insincere tones.
"A passion for excellence" or "A passion for serving you/your business" are smug examples which then pale in comparison to the endless spewing torrent of 'a passion for food/chocolate/travel/delivery/logistics etc. Delete as appropriate.
I've even seen "A Passion for people-driven websites" (rolls off the tongue like a hairy toffee) and also "Passionate about Plastic"! Oh please.
Then you can find it being stretched (dilated to eye-watering proportions more like) beyond the bounds of common sense to accommodate any business need.
Smith &Co medical supplies - A passion for Hygenic Aids.
Keeper, Reciept and Partners - Your tax avoidance strategy is our passion
Kington, Scalpel & Kutts - Passionate about vivisection.
Marie Stopes - Passionate about great Cervix
JezzzTFchrist
Where will it end?
AlQueda.com - Passionate about Semtex
Anne Summers - A passion for passion
The Priesthood - Passionate about kids
*Of course it's not 'slogan' any more - it's probably something like 'brand mission micro-ident'.
Sunday, May 10, 2009
I have a Great Aunt in Ilfracombe
The other day Cornish Bon Viveur, Surfmum brought the world of Oscar Wilde to life once again when,in an otherwise new millennium conversation, was slipped the casual line "I have a great Aunt in Ilfracombe".
I was momentarily cast back into a golden age of pink gins, maiden aunts, Aubrey Beardsley, punting, Bon mot, the Empire and The Importance of being Earnest.
Sadly there was no cucumber to be had.... not even for ready money.
This is CRAP. See the 1952 version with Redgrave and Edith Evans. It 'ROCKS' man.
I was momentarily cast back into a golden age of pink gins, maiden aunts, Aubrey Beardsley, punting, Bon mot, the Empire and The Importance of being Earnest.
Sadly there was no cucumber to be had.... not even for ready money.
This is CRAP. See the 1952 version with Redgrave and Edith Evans. It 'ROCKS' man.
Friday, May 08, 2009
International Shampoo Dealing
My good buddy and Cornish water dweller SurfMum has revealed to me the hidden world of International Shampoo Dealing. Apparently ladies are seeking out rare, discontinued or experimental brands of cosmetic goods by scouring ebay/websites/Polish container ships,Polish Sailors,refugee camps and council tips.
Surfmum herself has BOXLOADS of happy shopper Nicky (FAIL) Clarke 'Toss and spin' wash and condition, Infra-Red sex-on-a-stick bottles flown in by Airforce One from the USA every few months.
Is this just new to me or is everyone doing it?
I'll now be ordering a personal Container load of Arm&Hammer Bicarb toothpaste from Papua New Guinea.
PS And possibly also boxes of Captain Cruch cereal from the states. I still miss it since my childhood.
Surfmum herself has BOXLOADS of happy shopper Nicky (FAIL) Clarke 'Toss and spin' wash and condition, Infra-Red sex-on-a-stick bottles flown in by Airforce One from the USA every few months.
Is this just new to me or is everyone doing it?
I'll now be ordering a personal Container load of Arm&Hammer Bicarb toothpaste from Papua New Guinea.
PS And possibly also boxes of Captain Cruch cereal from the states. I still miss it since my childhood.
Dogging
Scary Duck has been bashing on about Dogging. It reminded me of this...
I'd had it in mind for some years to write a screenplay for a Hollywood blockbuster called 'Dogging'
Hear the trailer in your mind... "From the makers of Pride and Prejudice, the producers of Gone in 30 seconds, A Ridley Scott film, starring academy award nominee Brian 'Stiffy' Venkleman and Jennifer Lopez, Comes the motion picture event of the summer.... DOGGERS! In a world gone mad only one man stood up, proud, firm and ready while everyone else just watched...and prayed.
In cinemas this spring. Parental Guidance. 20thC Cocks. DVD Box set coming soon.
etc
Hmmm. It has promise I think.
I'd had it in mind for some years to write a screenplay for a Hollywood blockbuster called 'Dogging'
Hear the trailer in your mind... "From the makers of Pride and Prejudice, the producers of Gone in 30 seconds, A Ridley Scott film, starring academy award nominee Brian 'Stiffy' Venkleman and Jennifer Lopez, Comes the motion picture event of the summer.... DOGGERS! In a world gone mad only one man stood up, proud, firm and ready while everyone else just watched...and prayed.
In cinemas this spring. Parental Guidance. 20thC Cocks. DVD Box set coming soon.
etc
Hmmm. It has promise I think.
Wednesday, May 06, 2009
ScaryDuck rating method .2
If you haven't seen scaryDuck's method of rating stuff, get over there asap.
SCARYDUCK HERE
Meanwhile here's my suggestion for a twenty point maximum score.
Christa Miller and Sophie Rayworth, naked, oiled lightly and playing Twister. (against the clock). Dan Maskell commentating."Oh I say"
SCARYDUCK HERE
Meanwhile here's my suggestion for a twenty point maximum score.
Christa Miller and Sophie Rayworth, naked, oiled lightly and playing Twister. (against the clock). Dan Maskell commentating."Oh I say"
Naked Jehovah Witnesses
Just had them at the door again. (not actually naked though) But naked affront and sheer nerve after what I did to them last time.
I improvised a more subtle tactic this time, as I hadn't the time nor energy for blasphemous unpleasantness. I picked up the phone and clamped it to my ear and then as I opened the door I improvised a few lines along the lines of "Hold on just a moment, I'm just answering the door - I'm sure it won't take a second'. I then smiled brightly at the two minions of the darkness.
They apologised in that whispering 'sorry to disturb - we can see you're busy' sort of way and made their exit.
Classic strategy I think.
Pity just at the last minute they turned and tried to give me a small 1950s style leaflet about 'God'.
I'll be a-scrubbing the bloodstains out of my drive for a week. Bastards.
I improvised a more subtle tactic this time, as I hadn't the time nor energy for blasphemous unpleasantness. I picked up the phone and clamped it to my ear and then as I opened the door I improvised a few lines along the lines of "Hold on just a moment, I'm just answering the door - I'm sure it won't take a second'. I then smiled brightly at the two minions of the darkness.
They apologised in that whispering 'sorry to disturb - we can see you're busy' sort of way and made their exit.
Classic strategy I think.
Pity just at the last minute they turned and tried to give me a small 1950s style leaflet about 'God'.
I'll be a-scrubbing the bloodstains out of my drive for a week. Bastards.
Little people / fab video
Love this clever little video. Careful use of blur to create a fake depth of field and a stop motion effect makes the world look like a table top animation.
Bathtub IV from Keith Loutit on Vimeo.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Something for the ladies
Thanks to ScaryDuck's blog's celebrity method of rating stuff. My contribution.
Eamonn (if I was a toffee I'd eat myself) Holmes oiling himself up and stretching over a 'Hostess Trolley' whilst fashion victim extraordinaire Gok Wan ( allright girlfriend) accessorizes his smug fat friend's low hanging fruit with a 'cream pie' while wearing Beyonce style silk hotpants. Yeah - go girl!
Eamonn (if I was a toffee I'd eat myself) Holmes oiling himself up and stretching over a 'Hostess Trolley' whilst fashion victim extraordinaire Gok Wan ( allright girlfriend) accessorizes his smug fat friend's low hanging fruit with a 'cream pie' while wearing Beyonce style silk hotpants. Yeah - go girl!
Newton Abbot Web cams
Why hasn't our lovely village of Scabbot got a webcam?
Surely this marvel of modern technology would transform our tourist industry. Perhaps I should contact the local Devon mafiosi (or town council) as it likes to present itself and suggest they expose our delights to the world?
Who could fail to be entranced by the multistory car park with its trailing plant things, blackened by fumes? Or the newly painted 1950s eyesore offices. Better still why not site the camera near our scintillating hot spot - the night club Rafters. Or as it is know locally 'Shafters'. Then of course there could be another 'scabcam' on the street of a thousand take-aways, or as that is commonly known 'The Vomitarium'.
The high class buzz of an average evening there is going to make New York webcams look pretty silly I can tell you.
It's got to be a winner of an idea I think.
Surely this marvel of modern technology would transform our tourist industry. Perhaps I should contact the local Devon mafiosi (or town council) as it likes to present itself and suggest they expose our delights to the world?
Who could fail to be entranced by the multistory car park with its trailing plant things, blackened by fumes? Or the newly painted 1950s eyesore offices. Better still why not site the camera near our scintillating hot spot - the night club Rafters. Or as it is know locally 'Shafters'. Then of course there could be another 'scabcam' on the street of a thousand take-aways, or as that is commonly known 'The Vomitarium'.
The high class buzz of an average evening there is going to make New York webcams look pretty silly I can tell you.
It's got to be a winner of an idea I think.
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Jedi Mind Trick Redux No.10
Stormtrooper: Let me see your identification.
Obi-Wan: [with a small wave of his hand] You don't need to see his identification.
Stormtrooper: We don't need to see his identification.
Obi-Wan: These aren't the droids you're looking for.
Stormtrooper: These aren't the droids we're looking for.
Obi-Wan: He can go about his business.
Stormtrooper: You can go about your business. Move along, move along
Obi-Wan: Move along, move along
Stormtrooper: Have a nice day now.
Obi-Wan: Have a nice day now.
Stormtrooper: Actually, these are the Droids you're looking for.
Obi-Wan: Actually, these are the Droids you're looking for.
Stormtrooper: And I'm a fugitive Jedi Knight
Obi-Wan: And I'm a fugitive Jedi Knight
Stormtropper: Okay - you're all under arrest.
A silent pause as Obi-Wan turns to Luke.
Obi-Wan: What just happened then?
Obi-Wan: [with a small wave of his hand] You don't need to see his identification.
Stormtrooper: We don't need to see his identification.
Obi-Wan: These aren't the droids you're looking for.
Stormtrooper: These aren't the droids we're looking for.
Obi-Wan: He can go about his business.
Stormtrooper: You can go about your business. Move along, move along
Obi-Wan: Move along, move along
Stormtrooper: Have a nice day now.
Obi-Wan: Have a nice day now.
Stormtrooper: Actually, these are the Droids you're looking for.
Obi-Wan: Actually, these are the Droids you're looking for.
Stormtrooper: And I'm a fugitive Jedi Knight
Obi-Wan: And I'm a fugitive Jedi Knight
Stormtropper: Okay - you're all under arrest.
A silent pause as Obi-Wan turns to Luke.
Obi-Wan: What just happened then?
Echo Chamber people
A person who totally, obsequiously agrees with everything another person says.
“During the meeting my boss Jeremy calls on Jason, who’s a well-known management echo chamber to ask if Jason thinks the Company’s new and much stricter internet policy is a fair one. The rest of us spend the remainder of the meeting retching at the resultant tsunami of blatant ass-smooching.”
Brilliant stuff from The Urban Dictionary
Brilliant stuff from The Urban Dictionary
"Life at the pixelface isn't all it's clicked up to be"
http://www.urbandictionary.com
Now this is what I call a real time-waster site designed to suck you into eye-watering, click-o-holic, web trance-coma.
I was so into it in about 30 seconds flat that I think my entire metabolism slowed and then stopped.
When I came round, it was a different day.
Now this is what I call a real time-waster site designed to suck you into eye-watering, click-o-holic, web trance-coma.
I was so into it in about 30 seconds flat that I think my entire metabolism slowed and then stopped.
When I came round, it was a different day.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Afghan Police get high
The news reports this morning say that 40% of Afghan Policemen test positive for cannabis or opium.
I gotta say, if I was an Afghan Policeman I'd need a f**king joint to get me through the day too!
Frankly, I'd need to be blasted right out of my fkin head and off the this whole planet to get through to my first coffee (arabgold instant) and Fag (Scimitar Kings full strength) break back at the station*.
* For 'station'read, barbed wire and rubble enclave surrounded by semtex encased wannabies looking for a short cut to half a doz virgins.
I gotta say, if I was an Afghan Policeman I'd need a f**king joint to get me through the day too!
Frankly, I'd need to be blasted right out of my fkin head and off the this whole planet to get through to my first coffee (arabgold instant) and Fag (Scimitar Kings full strength) break back at the station*.
* For 'station'read, barbed wire and rubble enclave surrounded by semtex encased wannabies looking for a short cut to half a doz virgins.
Monday, February 16, 2009
Friday, February 06, 2009
Wednesday, February 04, 2009
Monday, February 02, 2009
Snappy Wisdom (or trite observations)
"Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must lead." - Charles Bukowski
"I'm not crazy, I just don't give a fuck." -- Willy (Night of the Comet)
"Having a bad day? It takes 42 muscles to frown, but only 4 to pull the trigger of a decent sniper rifle." -- Dr. John D. Taylor
"This calls for a very special blend of psychology and extreme violence." - Vyvian, The Young Ones (episode: Bambi)
'"
"Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light."
"I'm not crazy, I just don't give a fuck." -- Willy (Night of the Comet)
"Having a bad day? It takes 42 muscles to frown, but only 4 to pull the trigger of a decent sniper rifle." -- Dr. John D. Taylor
"This calls for a very special blend of psychology and extreme violence." - Vyvian, The Young Ones (episode: Bambi)
'"
"Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light."
Saturday, January 10, 2009
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