Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Jedi Mind Trick Redux 6



Stormtrooper: Let me see your identification.
Obi-Wan: [with a small wave of his hand] You don't need to see his identification.
Stormtrooper: We don't need to see his identification.
Obi-Wan: These aren't the droids you're looking for.
Stormtrooper: What droids we're looking for?
Obi-Wan: These aren't the droids you're looking for.
Stormtrooper: I never mentioned any droids.
Obi-Wan: Didn't you?.
Stormtrooper: Nope.
Obi-Wan: You sure?
Stormtrooper: I just flagged you down and said 'good afternoon gentlemen'.
Obi-Wan: Oh.
Stormtrooper: Then you launched into this shit about droids.
Obi-Wan: (anxiously)He can go about his business - move along?
Stormtrooper: You ain't going nowhere. Tell me more about these droids.
Obi-Wan: (sighing to Luke) Bollux - I fucked that up.

I'm sorry - Nik Chinook is not available

Quite on this blog I'm afraid as this month I'm busy on the:
http://the-red-riding-hood.blogspot.com/

Yep - 30 Days - 30 red Riding Hoods is the challenge.
Intrigued? You should be.

Wednesday, September 03, 2008

Don LaFontaine RIP

Oh shit. Only yesterday I'm making light of Don LaFontaine's Hollywood trailer vocal-styling and the man promptly ups and dies. Or should that be 'downs' and dies?

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/7596451.stm

Respect to you Don; you were more often than not, the best thing about the films you were plugging.

Tuesday, September 02, 2008

New Classroom Fun

Mrs Peach, local school 'mam of this parish informs me that this year the six classrooms are rather than numbered, to be identified with Sea or maritime nomenclature. This, apparently is acknowledgment of the coastal location and indeed sea view the school enjoys.

Mrs P finally informed me that they had chosen such titles as 'Sea Horse', 'Ocean' and 'Dolphin'.
However, this was not before I had been reduced to tears of laughter as my mind had raced with the more gritty and humdrum seaside references that would have been more applicable to the South Devon coast.

I cannot help but delight in the thought of the nursery, reception and various year one children's classrooms rejoicing under such names as:
SANDY CREVICE
SEWAGE OUTFALL
USED PROPHYLACTICS
FISH HEADS
SYRINGE PILE
DECOMPOSING JELLYFISH
DOG TURDS
and for the toddlers class room:
VICIOUS HERRING GULLS

Hurricane Gustav


Well that was a bit of a damp squib I'd have to say.
My respects and sympathy to those who have suffered of course, however...

The week of building tension, dire predictions and the mass exodus had ,of course, raised expectations of the most dramatic scenes of Armageddon-style destruction, chest beating and general discomfiture since the great plagues of Egypt.

You could almost hear Don LaFontaine, (the hollywood trailer voice over man) giving it it his best:
'in a world on the brink of disaster.... one man stood ready...to save our future...to hold our dreams... to begin again. Starring academy award wining Michael Douglas as Kurt Hudson. From the writers of 'Mitzy gets a mouthful' and from the people who brought you 'Kiddie Camp Killer IV' this summer's must-see blockbuster will leave you breathless and moist.
(may contain scenes of mild peril and someone says 'fuck')

In the end, from what I could see, on my brief sojourn on BBC News 24 site, was footage shot by desperate cameramen trying to get some kind of drama. There was a long shot of some, already loose, roofing felt flapping a bit. Then some waving trees followed by a clip of a small empty piece of tin (albeit a catering sized tin) bouncing down an empty wet street. Hmmmm.

And then the big feature clip of the report was of three New Orleans 'yoofs' ("Wow - awesome storm dude") leaning into the wind for laughs and then (wait for it) one has his hat blown off which he chases with ill-founded optimism and to the delight of his homies. "Woo - like it was totally crazy man". Should be on a YouTube near you soon.
I've had bigger storms in my pants.

THE BBC REPORT

Monday, September 01, 2008

Jedi Mind Trick Redux 5


Stormtrooper: Let me see your identification.
Obi-Wan: [with a small wave of his hand] You don't need to see his identification.
Stormtrooper: We don't need to see his identification.
Obi-Wan: These aren't the droids you're looking for.
Stormtrooper: These aren't the droids we're looking for.
Obi-Wan: He can go about his business.
Stormtrooper: You can go about your business.
Obi-Wan: Move along.
Stormtrooper: Move along... move along.
Obi-Wan: 3 - 2 - 1; and you're back in the room.