Hot news just in is that our heroes and betters in Parliament are voting on the following bonus/allowance/benefits for MPs
1. Tea and coffee for their offices, constituency office, home, second home, flat in Belize and mummy and daddy's farm in Dorset.
2. A swimming pool filled with asses milk and honey.
3. Cuddly Toy.
4. 500 sets of bed sheets.
5. A brace 'o Whippets and 52 barrels of heavy. (for Northern constituencies)
6. Tickets to Mamma Mia and a set of 'days-of-the-week' butt plugs, (for London and Brighton MPs. Nice
7. A new tractor each (for all other constituencies)
8. Wide screen tv, playstation3 and an iphone with a screensaver of Gordon/David/Nick/Katie. Delete as appropriate.
9. A shrubbery. ( yes - 2 level effect, path etc)
10. A short-cut button that when pressed will produce a calm and authoritative statement saying 'I was working strictly within the guidelines'. Even if you have just been caught on film machine gunning penguins, beating up little girls, stealing the crown jewels and butt fucking sheep on Salisbury Plain.
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