Straddling the Runt
Punching the widow
Machine gunning Meerkats (Cute little bastards)
Taunting the Leper
Existentialism for Chavs
Interfering with Honey Badgers (actually not a metaphor)
Startling the incontinent
Stripping the virgin (Still popular under the Taliban)
Spanking Mugabe (still popular with big Bob apparently)
Getting a footballer to say a sentence without 'you know' in it.
Or my personal favourite:
Asking your local vicar 'why the Church of England doesn't sell its vast properties and lands to save starving children?', which baby Jesus, after all, would have undoubtably wanted.
My how they laugh, 'That would be an Ecumenical matter'.
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