Friday, September 29, 2006

Radio One UK. A music-free area

Why is it that 'Music' radio plays less and less music these days? It seems that increasingly the DJs feel that the music I tuned in to listen to is an interruption to their show! Many channels seem prone to this problem but it is particularly irritating on channels who make a real feature of being 'all about the music'
In the UK, Radio One is a prime case in point. The BBC pumps out numerous talk based channels covering everything from the arts, news, specialists sport, local, regional issues,Ethnic groups, etc etc. When it comes to contemporary popular music however, there's only one national station: Radio One. You'd think therefore that they might focus on putting the bands and their music as the top priority. After all, being a non-commercial station they don't have to keep interrupting the music to have bloody irritating ads all the time - they actually have a big advantage over commercial radio which they could take capitalise on. But do they?
Oh no. They seem intent on making what should be (and calls itself) a music channel into a radio version of daytime TV - with a procession of vacuous 'presenters' who talk and talk and talk...and talk. They drip on about their night out, what they had to drink, their new car, old car, the 'match' on saturday, somebody they met at a club, what they did at school, what's on big brother, somebody else they met at a club, how much they drank, how funny they were with all their mates at the party on friday, the match this saturday, last weeks big brother, and on and on. They are actively encouraged in all this diatribe by the sychophants they gather about them in the studio. On and on this limp chatter continues, with all congratulating each other on the devastating wit and charm they display. And if they stop to take breath, it is only to go to the nightmare of...a 'Phone in'. Dear God - then we endure the deeply sad broadcast of even less charming people dripping on about THEIR night out, what they had to drink, their new car, old car, the 'match' on saturday, somebody they met at a club, what they did at school, what's on big brother, somebody else they met at a club, how much they drank, how funny they were with all their mates at the party on friday, the match this saturday, last weeks big brother, and on and on.
Arghhh. By this point I am screaming at the radio to play some BLOODY MUSIC! Often I have put the radio on at the start of a short car journey to have some music only to have reached the end of the trip with nothing but the presenters egocentric outpouring to cheer me on my way.
Don't get me wrong - I like talk radio sometimes (regular radio four listener) but I can tune in to it out of choice and it delivers what it says on the can. My gripe is when I want to also have the option of tuning into a pop music channel and I'm given talk, talk talk.
After the phone in, there suddenly seems a glimmer of hope as a band's name is mentioned but it turns out to be just a trailer for a studio interview with the presenter next week. (He is of course on first name terms).
There's then a little chat about another interview on last night's tv. Yawn.
Then suddenly...Hurrah! Some music is starting. I turn the radio up. It's not a band I like much but it's music at least - now I can enjoy the drive.
We're a minute into the track and the DJ decides to talk over it with a quip about somebody's hair who's just walked into the studio. Music back for 30 seconds until the guitar solo starts and then before I can quite believe it - the presenter cross fades it into the News bullitin.
Now I'm really going to lose it. 2 mins later.....The Weather Report. Still later.....Traffic news.
I'm screaming.
Then finally - back to the programme...but, no music. The DJ then engages in a stunningly cringe-making flirtation with the weather girl for minute after (licence payers) minute. Then all the 'crew' join in.
I'm beating my fist on the steering wheel by now.
I flick through other channels yet again to try and find some music. But as the talk channels are doing what they are supposed to do : broadcast talk/chat, they're no help. Sport channel - no good either. Commercial radio? try four channels and they're either phone-ins, interviews with local councilors or ten minutes of ads.
Back to radio One. - The flirtation is drawing to a close - Hurrah. Could this be it?
They play another trailer for next week's shows.
Maybe music now?
The presenter gather's himself - and I wait expectantly.
"And now, without any further ado...................
......... It's Competition Time! Hit those phones!"

I break down and cry.

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